Hi My Name Is
by Drusilla8
Summary: The Scoobies thought that song and dance had left their town forever...not so!


Hi My Name Is.  
  
Hundreds of clowns swarmed the area. They covered every road, parking lot, shop, and house. They were everywhere, laughing, screaming, hooting their big red noses. Then one came forward, reached up to the sky and a torrent of black and blue rain washed over the land. The same clown rushed forward and SMACK!.  
  
Spike's eyes snapped open looked around his crypt. I'm never drinking tequila again, he thought, if it leaves me that hammered to dream about clowns and I end up on my back on the floor, I'd rather just stick to the vodka!  
  
Spike walked off any cramp in his leg from sleeping funny and made his way over to the magic box. "Wonder what the lil scooby's are investigating today?" He thought out loud. He was a block away when a very lovely looking lady walked his way. She stalked up to him and said in a husky voice, "What's your name then handsome?"  
  
Spike opened his mouth to speak but however much he tried, the words didn't quite make it. He tried again.nothing, until, "Hi my name is Spike, I've got a wife and two kids and I work in a button factory, one day my boss came to me and "Spike? Are you busy?" I said "No." He said, "Turn the button with your left hand!" No matter how much he tried, Spike couldn't stop this absurd poem protruding from his mouth. It went on for a whole 3 minutes. First "Turn the button with your left hand" and then your right hand, then left foot, right foot, head, tongue. With all the funny actions as well.  
  
The woman had long gone before he could finish. So he hurried along to the Magic Box to get it sorted.  
  
When he arrived, Willow was the only one in the front, the rest, he assumed, were I the back or on their way. "Oh, hey Spike," Willow greeted him brightly, "I'm reading war stories, it's really detailed and very gory. Oh, by the way the others are." She didn't have time to continue for she stood up and burst into song, singing,  
  
"Our Sgt. Major jumped from 40 000 feet, Our Sgt. Major jumped from 40 000 feet, Our Sgt. Major jumped from 40 000 feet, And she ain't gonna jump no more, Glory, glory what a hell of a way to die, With a bayonet up your arse and a bullet in your eye, Glory, glory."  
  
Spike had placed his hand over her mouth. Once he felt assured that she wasn't going to break out again, he let go, just as Buffy walked in. He felt it coming, a strong, overpowering urge to start another silly little rhyme/song/poem.whatever it was he couldn't contain it any longer. He got on his knees and faced Buffy, she stopped and faced him,  
  
"You are my sunshine, My only sunshine, You make me happy, When skies are grey, You'll never know dear, How much I love you, Oh please don't my sunshine awaaaaaaaaaaay!"  
  
Spike stood upright again, ran for the stationary draw and grabbed a roll of duck tape. He stuck it over his mouth and wrapped it around his head several times, when he had finished he simply nodded in satisfaction and sat down.  
  
"Definitely an improvement," Buffy commented, smiling to herself at Spike's sarcastic look, "Hey Will, could you tell me something? I was wondering what Darla was before she became a vampire. Just curious really," Willow looked up from her book with her mouth clamped shut, "Oh, I get it.I think?!" Buffy tried to say something else but instead all the others heard was,  
  
"There once was a man called Dave, Who dug up a prostitute's grave, She was dirty as shit, And missing a tit, But think of the money he saved!"  
  
Buffy slapped a hand over her mouth and ran out of the room, colliding with Giles, "Oh Buffy, I need to.Baa baa black sheep have you any wool? Yes sir, yes sir, three bags full, one for the master and one for the dame, and one for the little boy who lives down the lane.I need to pick up some wool for a spell," He said quickly leaving the room.  
  
Spike nodded at Willow and then at the books, she stuck her thumb up and started to whizz her way through reference books. Trying to find out what exactly what had happened. She thought that the demon of song and dance had gone away.  
  
Spike perched himself on the table beside her and wrote something on a piece of paper. It read:  
  
"I had the strangest dream today. There were thousands upon thousands of clowns dancing about. Then one ran into me!"  
  
Willow looked at the paper in astonishment, "Same here!" She blurted out before clamping her mouth shut again. Then she went to find a book more appropriate.  
  
BANG! Tara flung the door open and rushed in side, "Guys, there's something wrong with me!" She looked at Spike's duck taped mouth, "Spike? Why have.I'm too sexy for my shirt, too sexy for my shirt, too sexy it hurts! I'm a model if you know what mean and I do my little turn on the cat walk, on the cat walk yeah!"  
  
Willow waved her hand in front of Tara's mouth, "Ceaseay!" Tara abruptly stropped and was slightly out of breath, "Thank you Willow!" She exclaimed, "but how do we stop this?" Before Willow could answer, Xander came in, "Sometimes I feel I've got to runaway, I've got to get away, From the pain you drive in the heart of me, The love we shared, Seemed to go nowhere, And I've lost my life, I toss and turn I can't sleep at night! Once I ran to you, no I run from you, This tainted love you've given, I gave you all a boy could give you, So take your tears and that's not nearly, Oh, tainted love." Spike had snatched up the duck tape and was wrapping it around Xander's mouth and head. Xander gave Spike a thank you look and sat on one of the chairs.PWillow stood up and shouted, "I've got it!" The rest of them stood up and cheered the best they could. But Willow didn't have chance to say anything more because, "She's got it! Yeah baby she's got it! I'm you're your Venus, I'm your fire. No desire," Tara did the same spell that was put on her and Willow sat back down, a little embarrassed, "We all have to sing a song together, but it is only possible to do this if you say a certain word. Where's Giles and Buffy gone? We need them too!" "I'm here and listening," Buffy said striding into the room, "Okay, good I'm sure Giles is here somewhere," As if on cue, Giles appeared through the back door clutching a handful of wool. "Giles I've figured it out," They all looked expectantly at her, "Okay, Tara you remove the duck tape from Xander and Buffy you remove the tape from Spike," Buffy pouted, "Oh, Will! Couldn't we keep it on there?" Willow shook her head and pushed Buffy in Spike's direction. Buffy ripped off the tape as hard as she could, causing the vampire to scream out in pain, "Thanks for being gentle pet!" He said to her. "Right," Willow regained the attention of them again, "Now when I say this word I want you all to sing with your hearts okay?" They all nodded, "Well here we go.Ooops!" They all sprang into song, "Ooops I did it again, I made you believe we're more than just friends, Oh baby, It might seem like a crush." They sung "Ooops I Did It Again" All the way through, followed by "Crazy" "I was born to change your nappy" "Stronger" and "Overprotected". When all song singing was finished they all went home vowing to never say anything about this again. 


End file.
